Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
3:51 am
Sat June 15, 2013

Panel round two

Originally published on Sat June 15, 2013 11:14 am

Transcript

BILL KURTIS ANNOUNCER: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Bobcat Goldthwait, Faith Salie, and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, the Blackhawks and the Bruins go once again to triple over-rhyme in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Luke, a German banker has been cleared of any wrongdoing even after he made an unauthorized transfer of $293 million. Authorities say it happened when the banker did what?

LUKE BURBANK: He took a very, very brief nap and put his face down on the keyboard and transferred the money.

SAGAL: That's exactly what happened.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So this is in Germany. We're talking euros and he was supposed to making a 62 euro transfer from a retiree. And the banker just put his head down, he fell asleep on the keyboard, specifically on the 2 key so he entered in 222222222.22, basically 222 million euros. Had he slept one second longer the mistake would have cost billions. The bank realized the error and sent a letter of apology to the retiree, which began ggggggggrr; thanks to the bank cat walking across the keyboard.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Can you imagine any American - and I mean the people in this room, the people listening, giving back $200 million without a fight?

SAGAL: Well, I'm sorry, it's your error. I mean, you know.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Yeah, yeah. The Germans were like, oh we see, it was a mistake. Here's your money back. Like they're much more sort of by the rules than we are. You'd never see me again. I'd be in Colombia watching the telenovella on a mountain of cocaine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The real difference is no American would take that short a nap.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Luke, New York City's bike share program has faced a lot of harsh criticism since its unveiling a week or so ago, but several New Yorkers are taking advantage of the parked bikes by using them as what?

BURBANK: Well, I saw a photo and the bikes look a little bit more - I don't know if just because lots of people are using them - they look kind of really rugged like they're very thick metal construction. Are they bikes you ride or is there any kind of a mechanical thing going on here?

SAGAL: No, they're just regular bikes.

FAITH SALIE: Look, I live in New York. We use them as coasters for our super-size sugary soft drinks.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right.

BURBANK: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: Well, I mean, it's true, there's no shower or sauna but it is cheaper than a Bally's.

BURBANK: Oh, people are using them like a workout device?

SAGAL: Yes. They're getting on them while they're - instead of paying for them and riding them, they're getting on them and using them as stationary bikes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So the idea is, I mean, sort of like I said, the bikes are locked in place, right? And so instead of going to a spin class at your gym and paying for it, people are like finding these, hopping on them. It's the perfect solution for anyone who's complained that their gym is nice but it doesn't smell enough like hot garbage and urine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Faith, nearly a hundred years after Strunk and White wrote the "Elements of Style," there's a new grammar guide out. It's an official style guide written for whom?

SALIE: Oh, lordy. Is it written for a genre of people?

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: Are they human people?

SAGAL: They are.

(LAUGHTER)

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Are they from the future?

SAGAL: They are not. They are from the present.

SALIE: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: Yes. Let's start by changing rock 'n roll to rock and roll.

SALIE: For rock and rollers, for...

SAGAL: For musicians, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So have you ever rocked out to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" by the Stones but your heart keeps tell you it would rock so much harder if it were "I Can't Get Any Satisfaction?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The music industry released its own grammar guide last month that answers questions like, should I use an ampersand when I collaborate with another artist? And is it OK to capitalize random letters in a title? And can I snort coke off of this book?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And you may be thinking music is poetry, lyrics are poetry, does it really matter? Well, I will say Pinball Wizard sounds way better now that it is sung by The Whom.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Luke, later this month in London, a chef will serve a very special burger. The meat comes from where?

BURBANK: One of the Queen's corgis.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Guys, it's locally sourced.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I don't know. Can I get a hint?

SAGAL: Well, turn up the Bunsen burner. I like mine well done.

BURBANK: Oh, is it one of these sort of genetically created pieces of meat in a laboratory?

SAGAL: Yes, it comes from the laboratory. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Say hello to shmeat.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Shmeat, it's what's for shminner. Shmeat is a lab-grown meat from a team of researchers really good at science but really bad at naming things.

BURBANK: They're really calling it shmeat?

SAGAL: They're calling it shmeat. It's a guilt-free animal protein because there's no animals involved, right? When asked at the press conference to introduce what they've done, who came up with the name shmeat, one scientist stood up and said, shme.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.