Panel Questions

Jun 3, 2017
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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, and here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This week, we are cleaning out our mental filters. They've gotten pretty mucked up the last six months.

KURTIS: We're also cleaning out our own files. Every week, we take more questions and answers than we have time to broadcast. So now some questions for our panelists that have never been heard before.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)

SAGAL: Paula...

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah?

SAGAL: ...The highest court in Britain has ruled that a father broke the law when he took his daughter out of school for what unseemly, unauthorized purpose?

POUNDSTONE: Gee, can you give me a hint? I have no idea.

SAGAL: Yes. It's a cruel world after all.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, to go to Disney?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To take her to Disney World.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Britain's Supreme Court has ruled that Mr. Jon Platt broke the law when he took his daughter out of school for a week-long trip to the Disney Resort in Florida. His 6-year-old daughter missed a whole week in British schools of basic arithmetic and elementary emotional repression.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know, Disneyland can be very educational.

SAGAL: Absolutely.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Like, It's a Small World, for example - you go through all the different countries.

TOM BODETT: Very multicultural.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. And you find how alike we are. Like, apparently, we all just move back and forth our heads.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know, you see the things that we have in common.

BODETT: Rosy cheeks, for example.

POUNDSTONE: Precisely - and that people in Scandinavian countries wear sort of a purple clothing.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: So this is a little concerning. So I shouldn't probably say on the radio how I pulled both my boys out of school for three days of skiing two weeks ago. Is that...

SAGAL: That's probably right.

POUNDSTONE: You know what?

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: I'm going to have to slap the cuffs on you, Tom.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Wow. So it broke the law?

BODETT: Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah. Anyway...

BODETT: How did it get to the Supreme Court? I mean, who sued...

SAGAL: What happened was he...

POUNDSTONE: Gorsuch is going to support Disney.

SAGAL: He was fined.

BODETT: Yeah. Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: And I'd say I'm with him on this one, you know?

SAGAL: The man was fined for taking his daughter out of school for this unauthorized purpose. And he appealed, and he got it reversed. But then it went all the way up to the Supreme Court. And the Supreme Court said, no, you were wrong. You have to pay the fine. And he complained about the, quote, "nanny state." But, of course, he took his daughter to Disney World, where Mary Poppins lives.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's literally a nanny state.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: So was it taking her out of school or taking her to Disney World that broke the law?

SAGAL: Well, they said it was for taking her out of school. But they're not fond of taking children to Disney. They'll never be loyal Britons if they learn early there are places where the sun is shining, the food is edible.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And people are happy.

ALONZO BODDEN: I just don't - does Britain really want to take on Disney?

SAGAL: No, yeah.

BODDEN: Because Disney will buy Britain. You understand that?

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: They'll make it a ride.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, exactly.

BODDEN: Disney don't play. You mess with the mouse, you're going to pay. You understand?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. They'll be Britain World.

BODDEN: Yeah (laughter).

POUNDSTONE: And just as you go around a corner, the queen leaps out at you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Negin, according to a new scientific paper, entomologists have discovered that female dragonflies use an interesting tactic to let males know that they are not interested. What do they do?

NEGIN FARSAD: They...

SAGAL: They...

FARSAD: ...Like, try to tell them that it's, like, not them.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: It's not about you. It's about me.

SAGAL: Not ready to have a larva.

FARSAD: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: I don't - what do they...

SAGAL: Well, it's extreme, but it's effective. The trick, though, for the dragonflies is they have to hold their breath until the male goes away.

FARSAD: Oh. They play dead.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly.

FARSAD: (Laughter).

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: They fake sudden death.

(APPLAUSE)

FARSAD: That took a minute.

SAGAL: So you are a male dragonfly, and you see a cute female dragonfly across the pond. And you go, hey, look at the thorax on that one.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And you fly over to make small talk, and she suddenly plummets out of the sky and falls dead on the ground.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's what a researcher saw while studying dragonflies in Europe. He suspects that the females do this because that species never learned to just lie and say they have a boyfriend.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: What if the male dragonfly's into that kind of thing?

SAGAL: Well, that's a problem. Before you admire the female dragonfly too much for its ingenuity, spare a thought for the poor male. She's like, ha, got away. And he's thinking, oh, my God. It happened again.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I murder people with my thoughts.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: How long does he hang out? Like, how long does she have to play dead before he's like, eh, I'm out of here?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, I'm sure males are males across the species. So at least a good hour before the guy's like...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Take the hint, you know? It's true.

BODDEN: And then how embarrassing when she shows up at the dragonfly party with another dragonfly.

SAGAL: Oh, it's the worst.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Hey, weren't you dead yesterday?

SAGAL: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Mo, this week, scientists at Texas State University observed a deer doing something they had never seen a deer do before - what?

ROCCA: Molting. I don't know. What...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I mean, something that deer don't do.

SAGAL: Well, it's not something we associate with deer, really - ever.

ROCCA: OK. Crossing their legs and reading...

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: ...In a dentist's office.

SAGAL: This is one of those moments where I'm caught between wanting to give you a hint or just wanting to hear you go on.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: In a hair salon with one of those old-style things over the head.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Gossiping.

ROCCA: Gossiping, right. Getting a pedicure. Deer - I mean, there's so many things that deer don't do. We could be here...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: We could be here for weeks.

SAGAL: That's true.

ROCCA: I mean, getting - doing its taxes.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: We said deer, not president.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The deer said it went great - I'll give you a hint. The deer said it went great with fava beans and a nice chianti.

ROCCA: Oh, eating a person?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: Oh.

SAGAL: Specifically gnawing on a human bone. Deer, it turns out, have a taste for human meat or, as they call it, men-ison (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This happened on the grounds of the forensic anthropology research facility known as the Body Farm. That's where scientists observe how animals and the elements interact with human remains to see what happens to them. And a motion-activated camera caught a deer just gnawing on some bones. And it even, according to scientists, quote, "held the bone in its mouth like a cigar."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Worse, the deer then mounted the human's head above the fireplace.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: And then it ran out onto the freeway in front of a car, the way they always do.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's the only thing that's keeping them from rising up.

FARSAD: It was satiated from delicious human flesh. I hear we taste like chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: So when I'm eating venison, I'm actually eating people?

SAGAL: It's possible. But we don't know. We don't know.

BODDEN: Wouldn't that be beautiful payback for all the hunters, all the - like, if you're a deer and you had the chance to eat a human, how could you not?

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

FARSAD: I'm looking at Bambi in a whole new light.

SAGAL: Oh, I'm looking forward to the new hit sequel "Bambi 2: Now It's Your Mom's Turn."

(SOUNDBITE OF VAMPIRE WEEKEND SONG, "M79") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.